Library@Kendriya Vidyalaya Pattom

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Where was the librarian when the lights went out?

 

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What did one book say to the other one?

I just wanted to see if we are on the same page
(Thanks to Anonymous)

Why didn’t the burglar break into the library?

Because he was afraid he’d get a long sentence.
(Thanks to West Leeman

Why do authors always get good marks on tests?

They know how to copy-right.
(Thanks to Nancy Schimmel)

Where was the librarian when the lights went out?

In the dark!
(Thanks to Marlin Day)

What does the librarian say when she has to leave?

Time to book!
(Thanks to Marlin Day)

What did the book called “Chills” say to the other book?

“I feel chills running down my spine!”
(Thanks to Anonymous)

What is a book’s favorite food?

A bookworm.
(Thanks to Cody S., age 10)

What do the library computers like to eat for snacks?

Chips.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a computer?

A lot of memory.

What part of a computer does an astronaut like best?

The space bar.

Why did the computer sneeze?

It had a virus.

Where do computers take their pets when they get sick?

To the Intervet.

What is a computer’s favorite kind of music?

Disk-o

What did one math book say to the other math book?

“Do you want to hear my problems?”

What do planets like to read?

Comet books.

How do librarians file melted marshmallows?

According to the Gooey (Dewey) Decimal System.

What did the spider do inside the library computer?

It made a Web page.

When the cold wind blows, what does a book do?

It puts on a book jacket.
(Thanks to Walter Minkel!

Why does the dragon keep turning around in a circle?

He wants to read a long tale.
(Thanks to Walter Minkel!

How do you catch computer fish?

Two ways: on line or in the Net.
(Thanks to Walter Minkel!

What does Hagrid use on the 18th hole of the Hogwarts Golf Course?

His Harry Putter.
(Thanks to Walter Minkel!

Where do sticks of chewing gum go when they go online?

On the Mint-ernet.
(Thanks to Walter Minkel and Emi Kafton-Minkel!

When the squirrels sneak into the library to use the computers, where do they go?

On the Inter-nut.
(Thanks to Walter Minkel and Emi Kafton-Minkel!

What do you call a campground for spiders?

A Web site.
(Thanks to Matt Willette, age 8!

Where are there more nobles than in the royal court?

In the library. All the books have titles.

When a knight read a book, who was always at his side?

His page.
(Thanks to Walter Minkel!)

What do you do if a dragon bites your library book?

Take the words right out of his mouth.

When spiders go on the Internet, what do they visit first?

Charlotte’s Web site.

What’s the difference between an accountant and a dectective solving the Case of the Stolen Book?

One’s a bookkeeper and one’s a bookcaper.

Why did Dr. Jekyll cross the road in front of the library?

To get to the other Hyde.
(Thanks to Kate Booker!)

Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor?

Because she was in the non-friction section.
(Thanks to Alan Mandel!)

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cardigan.
Cardigan who?
Oh, no! I went to the library and forgot my card-igan!
Knock knock.

Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow better place to hang out during the winter than the library!

Knock knock.

Who’s there?
Clothes on.
Clothes on who?
The library’s clothes on Thanksgiving, but we’ll be open again on Friday!

Why did the vampire check out a drawing book?

He wanted to learn how to draw blood.

Librarian: Knock knock.

Student: Who’s there?
Librarian: Winnie.
Student: Winnie who?
Librarian: Winnie you going to bring back that overdue book, hm?

What does a library book wear whenever it leaves the building?

A pager.

Why was the T-Rex afraid to go to the library?

Because her books were 60 million years overdue.

Why is that library book you’re trying to find always in the last place you look?

Because once you find it, you stop looking.

Why does an elephant use his trunk as a bookmark?

That way he always nose where he stopped reading.
(Thanks to Emi Kafton-Minkel!)

How can you tell if an elephant checked out a library book before you did?

When you open it, peanut shells fall out.

Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books?

Because she goes through them too quickly.

Why did Silly Willy wait until summer to take back his overdue books?

Because that’s when the fine weather is.

Why didn’t the skeleton come back to the library with an overdue book?

He was too gutless.
(Thanks to Thomas A. Brown!)

Why don’t elephants ever pay overdue fines?

They always bring their books back on time. An elephant never forgets!
(Thanks to Emi Kafton-Minkel!)

What did the detective do when he didn’t believe the librarian’s story?

He booked her!
(Thanks to Millie from Northern California!)

Do you know how many librarians it takes to screw in a light bulb?

No, but I know where you can look it up!

What king of medieval England was famous because he spent so many nights at his Round Table writing books?

King Author!

What reference book should you put on your head to keep off the sun and rain, no matter where you go in the world?

A hat-las (if you like, you can call it your “map cap”).

What reference book should you use when you forget your shovel?

The dig-tionary.

What reference book is the best to use when you want to travel?

The bicycle-opedia!

Librarian: Knock knock.

Kid: Who’s there?
Librarian: Winnie Thupp.
Kid: Winnie Thupp who?
Librarian: He’s in the juvenile fiction, and so is Piglet!

When a goose goes to the library, what books does she look for?

Peoplebumps books!

If you travel to Eastern Europe, why won’t you find any books in Prague’s public library?

They’re all “Czech”ed out!

How do you make a library float?
Get a million gallons of root beer, two scoops of ice cream, and add one library!

(Thanks to David Boe!)

Who writes invisible books?

A ghost writer!
(Thanks to Carolyn Gray!)

Part 1: What building has the most stories?

The library, of course!

Part 2: If a student goes to a seven-story library and checks out seven books, how many are left?

None. The library had only seven stories!
(Thanks to Christine Talbert!)

Where does a librarian sleep?

Between the covers.

When a librarian goes fishing, what goes on her hook?

A bookworm, of course.

What does a librarian eat dinner from?

A bookplate.

Jim said, “My dog tried to eat my library book.”

“What did you do?” asked the librarian.
“I took the words right out of his mouth.”
(Thanks to Leo MacLeod!)

What does the skeleton do when she goes to the library?

She likes to “bone up” on her favorite subject (and we’re not ribbing you, either).

What does a librarian use to keep his pants up?

A book-kle.

What does the mummy do when he goes to the library?

He gets all wrapped up in a good book.

What do you call a person whose library books are overdue?

A bookkeeper.

What did the book called “Chills” say to the other book?

“I feel chills running running down my spine.”

Courtesy: www.multcolib.org

Filed under: library Jokes & Cartoons

One Response

  1. karthika says:

    hey…………
    ths is cool since all thse people who love to read are considered as BUK WORMSSSSSSSSS………..
    yeah! buk worms also lyk jokes………..
    n they too have a gud sense of humour…………
    it is rly gr8 tht such thnga are added in our site………

    Like

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